I look at myself in the mirror and love the way the dress fits me! I know I’m right because the moment I walk out of my dresser my 7 year old son says “Mom, you’re looking nice”with admiration and love in his eyes . My 12 year old daughter walks in with a,”cool dress- I also want!” I roll my eyes at her and smile in triumph!
“I’m ready”, I call out to my husband. Only to be reminded by my daughter that ,”Mom!! Dad has taken the present and is waiting in the car already!” I rush .
We walk into the party 45 minutes later, my husband juggling the traffic.After a much shaky and bumpy ride ,precisely 3 minutes before we would have walked in, should he have driven more smoothly.:)
Even that could not dampen my spirit to party . Normally, I’d slip into bed at 9.30 pm sharp, but some Friday nights are different! This one sure is!
The party is hosted by our friends who supposedly claim that they know how to party .So much so that they hashtag their party nights with random people as “We are the Party People” (whatever that means!) ,So tonight,I’m curious to walk in to learn the art of “partying hard”.
As we’ve arrived just in time , the party is in full swing with just about everyone who was invited turning up.
I look around for my friend, the hostess, who I can spot near the far end of the room. She looks really “happy” and as I walk up to her, after the usual pleasantries, I see her husband walking up to her with a wide grin. I don’t like him much so even his grin is almost annoying. He admiringly came and stood beside her and then slyly pinched her arm and whispered something in her ear.
She flinched, her smile faded away almost as soon as he walked away followed by a sheepish look because she saw that I had witnessed that exchange of emotions. She hurriedly walked away too.
After ten minutes of meeting everyone else that I was familiar with , I take my glass of wine and spot my friend , the hostess ,walking towards me . She looks like she has cried, so I give her the questioning look , offer her my drink which she gulps at a rather huge pace for wine but I keep mum for her sake and she blurts out that he’s told her not to drink any more alcohol for the rest of the evening so she was disturbed.
The party stretched into the wee hours of the morning with great food and alcohol flowing as if tomorrow was the end of the world, some of the obviously over drunk people were dancing on the tables , some reeking of alcohol and smoke repeatedly asking my husband why they’ve not seen us recently with him replying them with the same answer over and over again of being too caught up with work and other obligations, some almost falling ,spilling on other people, some women with their shoes off and their heels in their hands begging their husbands to leave .
When I could not bear it anymore, he caught my eye and decided it was time to leave . I rushed to say bye to my friend who was back to dancing with others and having a visibly good time . She was upset that I was leaving “so early” although I had promised to be the last one to walk out that evening . I gave her an excuse of my kids calling up and she let me go .
I sat in the car and as soon as we shared the usual comments about how nice the hosts were and who all we had met and spent our evening with , I was lost in my thoughts.
It exasperated me that although discreetly,he could pinch her arm in public unapologetically , restrict her from drinking at their own party and feel so masculine about it .
What is it with these men who think their only way to proving their manhood is by physically abusing the woman in their lives ?
Why is it that they are very proper in public with other women but can’t treat their own wives well ?
What is it that drives a man to yell at his wife in front of other people , even if they are close friends and get away with it without apologizing ?
What is it that they think it’s ok to be sloshed and flirt with other women but their wife can’t drink at all ? What kind of men are these .
And what is it with those women who let their man do that to them.
Aren’t we as women supposed to feel complete in our own way?
Isn’t the Real man supposed to empower us by making us realize our own potential and appreciate when we succeed and encourage when we falter just as he expects his wife to do so?
Isn’t he most masculine when he helps his wife clean up after guests have left instead of abandoning her to do so alone?
Isn’t he a real man when he can tell by the look in your eyes that something has been bothering you ? Isn’t he manly enough when he attends school PTM meeting with you ?
I broke out of my reflective musing when our car shut down in the driveway. We walked up to our room and he turned and asked , “is everything ok? , you seemed unusually quiet on the way back?’
‘It’s nothing ‘ I replied and as I hugged him really tight I said, “thank you for being the Man in my life “!