As she handed me over a beautiful box of hand written letters for me to read for each of my different moods ( when I’m happy , sad, angry etc) my daughter asked me ,”so Mom ,how do you feel on turning 40?”
I looked at her , smiled and said,”I feel blessed”.
As I turned a year older this weekend , I was overwhelmed by the love and affection that was bestowed upon me ! Some simple “happy birthday” wishes and some elaborate blessings adorned my Facebook wall , what’s app messages , phone calls, lovely fresh flowers , handmade cards, gifts, birthday greetings that spilled over to the next day and the next!
“I feel humbled”. As much as I was delighted by the adulation I got , I was also humbled to see that I was an important part of so many people’s life. I am an expressive person but sometimes take a back-foot when it comes to expressing it on social media . I take this opportunity to thank each one of you !
“I feel liberated and freer”! As we reach milestones in our life , we get a clear understanding of what we are meant to do in life. I feel free to do things I could not do when I was younger. Free to write poetry and mean every word , free to make promises because I can fulfill them , free to love the right people because I have so much to give but now it’s only for those who deserve it !
“I feel prettier”! I have always been stick thin to the extent that I prayed every night to put on weight ! 🙂 you see , fat was in when I was really thin ! And then it happened and then I was struggling to lose weight every single day , joining dieticians who wouldn’t let me eat ,going crazy. I don’t struggle with that anymore , I eat healthy but I eat ! Occasionally, I do eat the piece of chocolate that I crave for or butter chicken / dal makhni with Parantha that I so love ..but what makes me feel good is the fact that I love the reflection I see every morning in my mirror ! I am content with what I am 🙂
“I feel wiser”I could choose my faith .My greatest weakness (maybe strength !) has always been my lack of submission to something that I cannot comprehend.So along this path , I ve disappointed people in my life who have expected me to follow certain religious practices or avoid certain things because of lack of complete belief . I feel wiser once I’ve decided my connection to the Universe is through Buddhism .
“I feel I have changed”. It hasn’t happened in a day ! It’s happened over a period of time . Its a transition of my soul . It’s a constant evolution and I am loving it . It doesn’t always follow my freewill but it’s taking me on a path where I feel happier . Or is that I’ve always been this way , I’ve just accepted it now !
I hope you feel it too . Till then and thereafter ,stay blessed!